Its Not What You Think

My work in organizations involves dropping habitual ways of perceiving in order to contact a fresh and subtle perceiving "under the surface" of what is going on. That deeper sense of perceiving allows the emergence of what I call the Engaging Leader, or the genuine expression of myself and the collective.

If we want to develop a deeper, subtler, way of perceiving situations, we need to be relaxed, open, confident, not expecting or demanding anything in particular. And we need to make friends with ourselves-not just casual friends, but intimate friends. Balancing our inherent feminine and masculine.

The feminine - the magnetic part of self that desires to be nurtured in all areas of your life. Is committed to trusting experiences that reveal self-knowledge. Seeks clarity, truth and authenticity beyond roles, masks and defenses. Feminine in male and female is both firm and yielding, requiring a need to go inward and trust the essential parts of who you are. Inherent intuition is feminine in nature.

You see, brilliant people rarely take the time to reflect on what they do. Reflection assists you in learning from the future as it emerges. When we are not consciously aware of our evolving self, we can get stuck in an old self-image.

Often we get caught up in the speed and pressures of daily life, and our mind and body become disconnected. The mind is off thinking about something and the body moves towards one goal after another on auto-pilot. When we start to slow down, we might notice that mind habitually ignores the body. It jumps around, wanders disembodied and ungrounded. Or mind gives body a hard time- expecting, demanding, judging, and manipulating.

The Engaging Leader has presence as a natural expression, a natural creativity. We aren't interested in struggling to squeeze out a product that is more clever than the next person's. All we need to do is allow our innate creativity to come forth. It is a dance of discipline and openness. It is a balance of form and freedom. We create boundaries and forms that allow for the most space and freedom of expression.

We journey from stiffness to ease, from skepticism to delight, from seriousness to play. This is a step-by-step approach that creates a base of trust. People learn to trust themselves and the situation. They cease to be locked into a solid sense of me and them, or "othering". With soft eyes we see the field or the space. Then we see that the space itself is dancing. We experience each other beyond credentials, opinions, and concepts. We experience the basic healthiness and integrity of our community. We are ready for genuine communication and insight.

It is an invitation to begin by letting mind's attention simply rest, focus, on how the body feels. We pay attention to sensation. We relax, slow down, become familiar with ourselves. We drop the habit of judging. We feel genuine appreciation, even wonder, for simply being present in the body this very moment. A deep sense of well-being comes from feeling at home. We bring mind and body back together by paying attention to sensation in a full, nonjudgmental way. We begin to feel a sense of presence, of being right on the spot without an agenda. Presence of being is our home.

Quieting our thoughts is the opposite of struggling to experience something pure or perceive something special. The purpose is not to dwell on a particular state of mind. It is to be, in a simple and straightforward way, with the everyday beauty, boredom, tension, joy, lethargy, and speed. You have thoughts of your successes, your relatives, your coworkers, the driver who cut you off in traffic this morning, sounds from the neighborhood, how thirsty you are, pain in your legs, fear of failure, fears for your children, and. You are aware of basic dignity, an insect that has landed on your arm, thoughts of basic goodness, thoughts of chores that need to be done, all thoughts.

No state of mind is important. Everything is equal. Everything is simple, accepted clearly and precisely, as it is.

The foundation, the method, and the results of quieting your thoughts are the same. The foundation is your natural disposition to be as you are, to be with your world and your experiences as they are. The method is a reminder to relax and be natural in this way, bring humor to any situation. And the result is settling down with the natural processes of your body and mind, so that your human qualities of intelligence, warmth, and power can be strengthened and evolve. We begin to realize that each moment can be mined for joy.

Organizational life may seem to some like a relatively odd place for spiritual growth; it is however rich with opportunity. So much can go right and wrong. "Stuff" happens: unwanted complications come your way, the service you've been waiting for is long delayed and when it does come it is unsatisfactory, your bright idea is claimed by someone else, your working conditions are lacking and the royal "they" are not fixing them, try as you might you don't seem able to satisfy anyone, this one is angry at you, that one is disappointed, and the other one is not paying you the attention you feel you deserve.

Right away in our habitual thinking we can only be miserable -- there are no choices. We whine in the washroom and complain in the coffee room, make up stories in which we are either the hero or the victim, take revenge, do less than our best, comfort ourselves in righteousness, question the quality of our relationships with others, sabotage our contributions to our organization and to the world, attempt to build ourselves up by putting down others.

The beginning of spirituality comes with the awareness that we can see things not as the way things are, but as a choice. As we recognize choices, we are invited to abandon victimhood and righteousness; we accept responsibility for our condition and for the condition of our systems, we accept our place as co-creators of these conditions.

About The Author

Since the early 1980s, Judith Richardson, M.A., has been pioneering in the fields of sustainable leadership, essential partnership, international teamwork, educational renewal, creating a customer service culture and workplace diversity. Featured in ICFAI University's Executive Reference on Diversity Management, author of Four Keys to Engaging Leadership, and Keynote at International Conferences, Judith was nominated for International Coach of the Year 2003, and works with International Organizational Development across North America, Europe, Jamaica, Denmark, Sweden, Israel and Russia. (www.ponoconsultants.com www.emergentfeminine.com). Tel: (902) 434-6695.

JudithRichardson2000@yahoo.ca

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

Coaching Skills Does Matter At Chick-fil-A
In this discussion, we talk about Coaching Skills with Phil Orazi, Dean of Chick-fil-A University and Scott Mayson, Business Consultant with Chick-fil-A in Atlanta, Georgia.Q - What is the role of an Operator at Chick-fil-A, and what are some of the challenges that an Operator faces?Phil - Operators are selected and are independent contractors for Chick-fil-A.
Magic Potions We All Need This Time of Year
As winter descends we begin to feel the chill of shorter days and less sunlight. For many of us, less hours of light combined with colder temperatures results in us feel less light emotionally.
Just Listen, Please!
When did you last do that? When did you last listen to yourself? Is there a small voice inside you calling out "Just listen to me" Just listen. Please".
The Secret of Self-Esteem
Have you ever thought about what really creates self-esteem? Having a deep sense of inner worth is important to all of us, but many people have some false beliefs about what creates confidence in our own merit as individuals.Some of the common false beliefs regarding what creates self-esteem are:I will feel good about my self when I'm making $______(fill in the amount) a year.
Feeling Self-Conscious? 6 Tips to Turn it Around Fast!
When you feel self-conscious it means you are putting too much attention on your self, too much focus on what you are doing and how you are doing it. And this is a formula for poor performance.
3 Keys to Making Small Talk Easy to Do
Small talk used to be really hard work for me. I never knew what to say and I always worried about saying the wrong thing.
Theres Always Enough Time!
I thought I'd begin this article by stimulating your mind with a little time trivia contest! Are you ready? Alright then, here goes?..
Some Business Coaches are in Error
Many business coaches deny the power of suggestion while using it. For instance a corporate inner circle will be told that they have inner conflicts with ethical practice due to the stockholders coming first, the customers coming second and employees coming third.
Solution-Focused Therapy
Most types of psychotherapy involve exploring feelings, being validated, finding explanations, exploring wishes and dreams, setting goals, and gaining clarity. Every therapist has unique ways of working with clients, based on his or her personality, training, and views of how people change.
Things Are Good Because I Say They Are
The subject of positive self talk regarding our goals and dreams reminds me of the childhood story, The Velveteen Rabbit. The boy loves the toy so much that a magic fairy comes and turns the toy bunny into a real rabbit.
Keeping Your Anger Under Control
In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and how they can respond to stressful situations more productively.
Empowering Vision
Playing Our Part:Sir Michael Costa was conducting a rehearsal, in which the orchestra was joined in a great chorus. About half way through the session, with the trumpets blaring, drums rolling, and violins singing their rich melody, the Piccolo player muttered to himself, "What good am I doing? I might as well not be playing.
Curbing the Public Nuisance (Part 1)
He's been around since the dawn of humanity. His profession is even older than the world's oldest profession.
How Coaches Find Clients Online
At a recent networking meeting Jana asked for a recommendation for a public speaking coach. She was starting to speak in front of audiences, and wanted to polish her presentation skills a bit.
Floating In Mindfulness: Dealing With Disappointment
Feeling disappointed? It's time to float.The time-honored approach to disappointment generally involves a fair amount of wallowing followed by a concerted effort to move on.
Why a Coach is NOT a Consultant
Often while talking to people about my coaching practice I get asked what the difference is between a coach and a consultant. Many people believe they are either the same thing or very similar.
Poise, Posture, and Performance
Good posture is seen to have many advantages. From an aesthetic point of view it can enhance image, sending out the right signals (body language).
The $10,000,000.00 Question
When I asked my client, Amanda, what she would do if she won a $10,000,000.00 lottery prize, she quickly answered " I would move to Hawaii and sit on the beach all day.
That Little Bit Of Extra
The "little bit extra" is a very powerful concept to put into practice today in every aspect of your life. The difference between being ordinary and being extraordinary is that little bit EXTRA.
What Rules!
There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine.