The Enchantment of Tribes to Belong To

I am remembering and have a desire to share with you, a beautiful story told to me by a young lady. It was the end of the World War II and her dad was returning home. He came from a very close network of Italian families that lived near each other in New Jersey.

He had a ride back from where his ship had docked. Of course he was filled with emotion as he came closer and closer to home. Suddenly, about five miles from home, he asked to be dropped off. He had decided to walk the last few miles himself and give himself time to emotionally "arrive". He wanted to savor every moment of coming home! This was a time to feel the essence of the town he came from, to savor pleasant memories of growing up as he walked and to allow his anticipation to build even further. Every step took him closer to friends and loved ones! He looked at every tree. He enjoyed every house he passed. He didn't even feel the weight of his duffel bag flung over his shoulder. He took his time walking. His parents knew that he was coming home soon, but they didn't know exactly when. Thank G-d he was alive! That knowledge was enough to sustain them.

Meanwhile, as he walked several people recognized him. Some called out "hello" and several ran up to him and hugged him. He was offered rides, but refused. However, behind closed doors the magic began. As he passed by these people, the news was quickly transmitted on the telephone that he was coming! Joe's son was home from the war. Pass the word. And they did.

By the time he got down to his street the street was filled with friends and family waiting for him. Would you believe several hundred? People shouted and clapped. He was hugged and kissed. His bag was taken from him. Everyone wanted to be near him. "Make room for Joe and Rosie! For goodness sake, let them get near their own son!" He literally had to work his way through the crowd of neighbors and other relatives to fall into the arms of his mom and dad. How good it felt to be held again by the two people who loved him so much! And where was that pretty young woman that he meant to look up now that he was home? Oh, well, that would have to wait at least one more day. The rest of today was filled with fresh Italian foods, wine, hugs, stories and a place to come home too.

What a beautiful story. We all need a place to come home to--a place to be loved, to feel connected and with purpose. In The Enchanted Self I teach about belonging to tribes and how important it is. I even feel the energy of the tribe that this young man belonged to and I wasn't there. The positive energy was so strong that it not only filled his granddaughter--and could still be transmitted to me--and I hope to you.

He needed his tribe and his tribe needed him. He needed his time to re-enter. The energies connecting him and his tribe were so strong that he could not just be dropped off. He had to re-enter slowly at first and prepared himself for the intensity of connection. His tribe likewise prepared itself by a wonderful signal system--smoke coming up in puffs on the desert. The system worked so well that by the time he arrived a celebration was already up and running.

Tribes are our gift to ourselves. They offer us a gateway so we can come back again and again. They offer us a signal system so that the important things are transmitted in a timely fashion, and they offer us the welcoming arms that help us belong, feel appreciated and have a place. May each of us have the gift of the right tribes in our lives.

About The Author

Dr. Barbara Becker Holstein, originator of THE ENCHANTED SELF®, a method of bringing delight and meaning into everyday living, invites you to view her new line of ENCHANTED WOMAN products, downloadable e-books, and free gifts at http://www.enchantedself.com. Chat with others in Dr. Holstein's e-group, http://groups.yahoo.com/group/encself/join, and sign up for her free e-group at www.enchantedself.com. Order her book, THE ENCHANTED SELF: A Positive Therapy, or the CD-rom or tape version and her book RECIPES FOR ENCHANTMENT: The Secret Ingredient is YOU!, or the ED-rom version, at http://www.enchantedself.com/ordering/ordering.htm.

encself@aol.com

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

What Rules!
There are things that we do automatically internally that we don't even realize are the things that make us who we are. Our own rules for living that we hardly ever question, and even less frequently examine.
Four Common Rapport Building Mistakes and How to Fix Them
1. Pretending You Are Interested When You Are NotDo yourself a favor and be honest with yourself and the people you spend time with.
Do You Want to Impress Others? Then Don't Talk ?Listen
Recently my friend Michelle was concerned about a professional conference she was planning to attend with her husband, a veterinarian. She has no background in veterinary science, so she did not think she would be able to effectively communicate with the people at the conference.
The Power of Visualization
Professional athletes and other highly successful people use the power of visualization technique on a regular basis. Why? Results of a 20-year study of the effects of visualization on results revealed an amazing discovery.
What Is A Personal Trainer
Imagine stepping into the gym for the first time in your life. There are so many machines and gadgets.
Mindfulness and Multiple Intelligences: 8 Ways to Pay Attention
How are you smart?Let me count the ways.Harvard professor Howard Gardner was the first to describe the concept of Multiple Intelligences.
Belief Management - The Missing Ingredient?
"Joan, I'm working so hard and I'm not getting anything done!" I have heard some version of this cry of frustration by many an entrepreneur. It's a common complaint voiced by those of use who sought the freedom to have complete authority over our schedules, only to find ourselves unwittingly shackled by old ways of operating.
Who Do You Talk To?
Many of you reading this will be running businesses, or parts of, whether they are your own or not. This means that you have many things to deal with on a day to day basis plus trying to do the long-term thinking needed to lead and run the business.
Two Pillows and One Dead Husband
That's what I needed when I delved deeply into my first acting class. I was 60 years old and had a lifetime of experiences behind me but anger or rather the act of reacting to it was not in my skill set.
We Are the Five People We Associate with Most
Last month I was invited to participate in a charity golf tournament in Las Vegas to celebrate the life of the late dancing legend Gregory Hines. The event was held to raise funds and awareness of the tragic disease that took this entertainer's life.
Successful Implementation of Company Wide Coaching Programmes
Ten years ago I was fortunate enough to be heavily involved in the implementation of a company wide coaching programme, both as an employee who was to receive coaching but also as a manager and coach who was expected to regular coach my reports and my peers to enable them to achieve their objectives. I say, fortunate enough, because I found that when I was coached effectively I became really motivated and focused, and when I finally became a proficient coach, I again found it motivational in that I was able to support and enable my direct reports to achieve more.
Coaching Skills Does Matter At Chick-fil-A
In this discussion, we talk about Coaching Skills with Phil Orazi, Dean of Chick-fil-A University and Scott Mayson, Business Consultant with Chick-fil-A in Atlanta, Georgia.Q - What is the role of an Operator at Chick-fil-A, and what are some of the challenges that an Operator faces?Phil - Operators are selected and are independent contractors for Chick-fil-A.
Executive Coaching Case Studies
If you are wondering whether investment in executive coaching would promote your business growth, some case studies might help you in making a decision.Although confidentiality prevents me from going into too much detail, I think the following examples will give you an idea of how executive coaching can achieve good results in a variety of business situations.
What Dost Thou Speaketh? Hey, Affirm This Way!
Articulating repetitive statements with emotion will inevitably connect you to your primary focus. Your destiny is guaranteed, when you repeatedly, decree a seed.
Freedom for All; Is it Possible?
Freedom for all species and people, and freedom of stress; is it possible? Could the Internet be a tool to getting there?Freedom, what is it? I am an Internet writer whose job is to write about the Internet. Does that mean I am locked into this one area? Am I allowed to write about other things? Well today I am going to test out my supposed freedom, by writing about freedom.
3 Secrets to Developing Superior People Skills
1. If What You Are Doing Is Not Working Change Your ApproachWhen I was in school I always had a small group of close friends but I never found it easy meeting new people.
Personal Core Values: Your Key to Success and Happiness
Each of us has our own set of personal values; these are the things which we believe are important, which motivate us and to which we give priority. If I asked you what your personal values are, the chances are that you would struggle to find the answer.
The Student Who Knew Too Much
This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar? "Can't I just try to mail or email, do I really have to call" "I was thinking I could wait to get business cards" "I wanted to be successful first, before I start to market or network" "Why do I have to do it that way, I thought I could do it this way" I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
4 Underused Hot Spots for Your Personal Branding Iron
I'll never forget what my mentor told me: "Don't communicate in any way to any person without the stamp of your personal brand."Everyone has a personal brand, whether they know it or not.
Do You Make These Common Mistakes When Talking to People?
Many moons ago. Talking to people was something I avoided where possible.