Coaching Information

Experiences, whether good or bad, are sometimes all wehave, and most of them reside in the past. So you may ask,why should I let go of my past when much of it is filledwith beautiful memories and serenity?

Well, that is certainly not what I mean. What I do mean iswhen a past is littered with seemingly overwhelming pain, itimpedes one's ability to move forward and adjust to thisever-changing world. A good analogy would be of abackpack filled with distressful memories that one tries toswim with, but it always seems to weigh you down,allowing you to merely breathe, is quite fitting.

This backpack, even though not physically attached toone's body, seems like some type of appendage that riddingoneself of is unbelievably difficult or painful. So, as humansdo, we many times avoid, at all costs, the detachment ofthis pain because it has indelibly been written into a past asif in stone.

Therefore, using it as an old wooden crutch to not live ourlives to its fullest potential, is how many people see theirpast. These excuses fill our lives with procrastination andthat procrastination is an excellent way of delaying ahealthier future, devoid of these negative memories.

If, for example, a series of painful experiences throughoutyour childhood, like verbal or sexual abuse, always seem tohaunt your ability to progress in your interpersonalrelationships. In turn, you subconsciously sabotage theserelationships by not giving enough of yourself, or verballygiving too much of yourself.

Fundamentally, the mindset of intertwining the past with thepresent hurts everything you come in contact with, becausethe backpack is still around your aching shoulder.

Getting rid of the backpack may be the hardest thing youcan do, but consider the cost of maintaining its existence? A mind polluted with pain is not only counterproductive,but can sometimes be dangerous, given the wrong personand situation.

Well then, how do I know if my past is hurting my future?

A hurtful past surfaces subconsciously, if not properly letgo. Moreover, consciously you are the only person whocan detect and determine what pain you carry with you, sothat becomes your antidote.

When appropriately analyzing your current mentalcondition, you need to set all pride aside and begin to delveinto your past. False pride can mask what a morelucid-thinking individual could obviously see as painful. Therefore, a lucid and logical mindset is of the utmostimportance.

Identification of particular events that are painful and thenindexing them in their level of importance, is also importantin knowing to what degree certain memories are hinderingyour progression.

In the indexing phase, one should identify and compare orlook for the memories that cast the longest shadow.

When this is completed, the arduous task of letting go mustproceed. Ask yourself truthfully, is this memory worthkeeping this close, or would letting it go to its grave makemy life easier? This cost benefit analysis should be donewith all the toxic memories, in order to understand theirrole in suppressing your life.

Although letting go of a broken past is extremely helpful inones future, it cannot be overstated that this process is justthat, a process and cannot be done overnight. Working onthese memories and coming to terms with them by notaccepting them anymore, can take years. As each onediminishes from your memory, you will not only be able tofeel the backpack become lighter, but you will be able tostart moving more freely into your future.

by Brian Maloney-ValuePrep.com

Want to improve your personal values? Get high-quality relationship advice for guys and gals from a 'Logical' standpoint.

Visit ValuePrep - Relationship Advice.

**Attn Ezine editors / Site Owners**
Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your website as long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above.