How to Effectively Balance Your Work and Family Life

What Is Your Definition of Success?

If you want to create balance in your life, it is important to know how you define success. The following list is a place to start. Cross off those that don't seem important to you and add your own. Next, identify which of the items on your list are the most essential to your success definition and which items present the greatest challenge to you.

1. Being able to move on when a situation is no longer productive or positive

2. Being satisfied with your work situation

3. Enjoying the present, not putting off the good things until some time in the future

4. Expressing your creativity

5. Fulfilling your potential

6. Holding yourself with esteem separately from your work

7. Being authentic

8. Identifying your values and basing your choices on them

9. Managing your money well

10. Not feeling envious of others

11. Paying attention to your spiritual life

12. Spending time in fun ways away from your workplace

13. Spending time with people you cherish and enjoy

14. Taking good care of yourself

15. Understanding when to fight for something and when to give in

What would you add? Which items present the greatest challenge to you?

The 80/20 Rule

The 80/20 Rule, also known as the Pareto Principle, says that 20% of what we do produces 80% of the results. Some examples of this principle are:

• 20% of the people sell 80% of the widgets.

• 20% of the salespeople earn 80% of the commission.

• 20% of the parts in your car cause 80% of the breakdowns.

• 20% of the members of an organization do 80% of the work.

The 80/20 principle can help anyone create balance in their life. Here's how:

1. Identify the times when you are most happy and productive (i.e., the 20% that produces the 80%) and increase them as much as possible.

2. Identify the times when you are least happy and productive (i.e., the 80% that produces the 20%), and reduce them as much as possible.

Your Seven Habits of Success

You have probably heard of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. As you create balance in your life, think about your own list of success habits. What seven things would lead to more happiness in your life if you did them every day? Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Do something you love doing for at least part of the day.

2. Get some physical exercise.

3. Get some mental exercise.

4. Stimulate yourself artistically.

5. Stimulate yourself spiritually.

6. Do something for someone else.

7. Do something just for fun.

8. Acknowledge yourself for something you said or did.

What ideas would you add?

Dealing with Workaholism

What if a person needs more than just self-help in dealing with a lack of balance in work and family life? An organization called Workaholics Anonymous can help.

Workaholics Anonymous is a 12-step recovery program similar to Alcoholics Anonymous. It is a "fellowship of individuals who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others recover from workaholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop working compulsively."

How Do You Know if You Are a Workaholic?

Ask yourself these questions if you think you might be a workaholic:

1. Are you more comfortable talking about work than anything else?

2. Do you become impatient with people who do things besides work?

3. Do you believe that more money will solve the other problems in your life?

4. Do you get irritated when people ask you to stop working and do something else?

5. Do you get more energized about your work than about anything else, including your personal relationships?

6. Do you look for ways to turn your hobbies into money-making endeavors?

7. Do you often worry about the future, even when work is going well?

8. Do you take on extra work because you are concerned that it won't otherwise get done?

9. Do you take work home with you? Do you work on days off? Do you work while you are on vacation?

10. Do you think about your work while driving, falling asleep, or when others are talking?

11. Do you think that if you don't work hard you will lose your job or be considered a failure?

12. Do you work more than 40 hours in a typical week?

13. Do you work or read while you are eating?

14. Have your long hours hurt your family or other relationships?

Garrett Coan is a professional therapist,coach and psychotherapist. His two Northern New Jersey office locations are accessible to individuals who reside in Bergen County, Essex County, Passaic County, Rockland County, and Manhattan. He offers online and telephone counseling services for those who live at a distance. He can be accessed through http://www.creativecounselors.com or 201-303-4303.

More Resources

Unable to open RSS Feed $XMLfilename with error HTTP ERROR: 404, exiting

More Coaching Information:

Related Articles

5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual
"3 Questions, 5 Minutes a Day: Make leaps towards greater balance in one single week with the Shicka Boom 5 Minute Morning Balance Ritual"By Laura Lallone, Certified Life CoachThis article is dedicated to a woman that I've never met and probably never will. Tall with dark, dark hair, she was perfectly manicured in a tailored suit with high-heeled pumps.
Value Based Leadership Coaching
What can I do to be a better coach? The Eight Step Coaching Model describes the process, yet too often the focus is on techniques only. "How can I say it to win my point, get others to do things my way, or convince them?" Focusing only on one technique is fundamentally manipulative.
Keeping Your Anger Under Control
In my work with individuals and couples, I see many people who have a difficult time expressing and managing angry feelings. Let's take a look at what causes people to become angry and how they can respond to stressful situations more productively.
Mid Life Crisis, Life Transitions, & Ontological Coaching
Recently I have been watching a TV show called Blowout. It is a reality show about a hair designer, Jonathan Antin who struggles to get his Beverly Hills salon up and running.
5 Keys to Powerful Communication
As a coach that specializes in marriage, couples and family coaching, it is critical to develop strong and clear keys for communication. How many times have you been faced with a difficult feeling or occurrence that you are reluctant to discuss with your partner? You probably thought, "If I just don't say anything, I can get past it"?The problem is most of us can't get past it.
The Executive Coaching Contract
Having found a coach you feel comfortable and excited about working with, the next step is to discuss and sign the coaching contract or agreement. This is vital to ensure that both coach and client are clear from the outset about what is expected.
Taking The Coach Approach
When you use what you go through to grow through, you take the coach approach. I am suggesting that you hire your own counsel.
Is Your Attitude Destroying Your Health?
A positive attitude may bring good health and success. If you have ever read any book about success you will discover how an optimistic attitude will keep you healthier and tremendously increase your chances of success.
Theres Always Enough Time!
I thought I'd begin this article by stimulating your mind with a little time trivia contest! Are you ready? Alright then, here goes?..
The Role of Grief Group Facilitators
Technically, there are two types of grief groups. Informational and support groups are for individuals who have an interest in the grief process.
Words That Inspire - PEACE
WORDS THAT INSPIREA monthly quick shot to motivate you, in less than 45 seconds, from Julie Cohen CoachingHow might your PEACE impact the world?Dictionary*says:State of tranquility or quiet, freedom from civil disturbance, a pact or agreement to end hostilities between those who have been at war.What it REALLY means:The feeling of contentment with your life at present; your state of being when things feel comfortable, at ease, light; time in which you feel centered, calm and well.
Mailey's Introspections [Monday, December 6th 2005]
As I work with clients as their introspective Inner Peace/Relationship coach, an issue that has come to my awareness is the tendency we have as human beings to stray away from the present moment. Some people tend to live mostly in the past, some live in the future, while still others ricochet from future to past and back to the future again.
The Student Who Knew Too Much
This article is for those of you who coach or mentor. Does this sound familiar? "Can't I just try to mail or email, do I really have to call" "I was thinking I could wait to get business cards" "I wanted to be successful first, before I start to market or network" "Why do I have to do it that way, I thought I could do it this way" I could go on, but I think you get the picture.
What in the World is Life Coaching?
In my speaking engagements I have often compared coaching today to psychotherapy in the 1920s. The level of public understanding of coaching, outside of people in a certain socio-demographic category, is still in its infancy.
Parts that Make the Whole? or Not
There are many parts that make up you.There's the Musical You, the Friendly You, the Amazing You, the Genius You, the Calm You, the Peaceful You, and many more parts that make up who you are - much like an identity check list:All round good guy/gal part - checkUniquely amazing you part - checkWitty and intelligent part - checkLovable and charming part - checkMoody and indecisive part - who me??? Never?Selfish and greedy part - not me! Never?Self opinionated - Nope, not me! Never?We all have wonderful attributes; we also have parts not so wonderful which we'd rather keep hidden but really, it's okay to acknowledge we have both.
Tempering Temper
I'm almost always a calm and collected person. Or at least I think I am.
Use a Journal for Self-Discovery and Self-Expression
As a therapist, I often suggest to clients that they explore their feelings and thoughts by keeping a journal. Sometimes clients ask for a bit of direction with this process.
How To Gain Control Of Your Life
"The latter part of a wise man's life," said Jonathan Swift, "is taken up in curing the follies, prejudices, and false opinions he had contracted in the former."The awareness to see one's own follies, prejudices, and false opinions is in fact essential to overcome one's psychocultural programming.
Coaching Can Help Teachers At A Crossroads In Their Careers
Teachers enter the profession with the desire to help others, but after years in the field it can lose its luster. If it's no longer offering satisfaction the way it once did find out how you can get the joy back.
How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things Over
How to Control Your Anger: Retreat and Think Things OverJim and Mary Jones loved each other deeply, but often went into horrific verbal battles over any number of issues. They would argue and yell for hours, often into the night, leaving both of them exhausted, emotionally disconnected, hurt and resentful toward each other.